EMPOWERING EASE, JOY & EFFECTIVENESS
Executive Education, Personal and Professional development Programmes
Executive Education, Personal and Professional development Programmes
Effectiveness – Crashing and Thrashing or gliding?
Bella Enahoro
I recall my childhood holidays when my family lived a ten minute walk from our local swimming baths. In the still sleeping quiet of the morning, I would waken early and by 6.00am would be at the pool waiting to go in. Children weren't allowed in till 6.30am, so for a half hour I would sit watching other swimmers. The olympic-sized pool was divided into two lanes length-wise. One side for expert swimmers and everyone else on the other side.
On the 'everyone else' side, there was always a great deal of splashing, crashing, thrashing and they would barely travel a couple of metres before they had to stop and gulp air, exhausted by their efforts. Some would even wander over to the expert lane, so poorly directed were their efforts. But on the expert side, there was barely a ripple as the swimmers seemed to glide through the water. They allowed the water to support them, they knew how to let water do its work. They knew how to work 'with' the water, rather than in spite of it. Some were so skilled they could sense an errant 'crasher and thrasher' about to cross their path and they would dive deep, avoiding collision and come up the other side of the 'crasher and thrasher' barely missing a stroke. I catch myself wondering how often I'm crashing and thrashing in my life instead of going with the flow and allowing life to keep me buoyant enough to help me glide through.
Here we are, a brand new decade in a decade old century. For those of us who have loved the last ten years, then for the next ten we keep doing, thinking and feeling as we have been. However, for those of us who want something different, and ‘same old, same old’ won’t do but crashing and thrashing has left us spent and barely closer to what we desire from life, what now?
For many of us, our foundations may be firm and supportive but for those of us who may be looking sideways at our key relationships or maybe considering leaving a job (yes, even though there's a recession) or indeed obliged to do so, or finally forced to do something about the state of our health, not to mention our finances are we ready to believe beyond our current situation?
Maybe we’ve got to the place where we realise that ignoring the situation does not work, nor does passively waiting for things to change of their own accord. And as for complaining, not only does that keep us where we are, but results in alienating everyone around us. Yes, we know what does not work – perpetual complaining, misdirected aggression, shopping, drinking and drugging to mood change and the list goes on in all the ways we have been crashing and thrashing at and in the unwanted situations in our lives. Are we ready to move on? And if so, how?
Belief is the key. Not belief in the religious sense of the word but in the sense that belief is a fact of human consciousness. I use the term belief meaning, information that we deem to be true. In other words can we ‘deem it to be true’ that we can move beyond our current situation, into the one we desire and allow our counter thoughts and uncertainties to subside?
Maybe this means giving up our beliefs about how things happen in the world. Maybe it means realising that the beliefs we have inherited from our families, schools, religious institutions, media may in fact not be true e.g work hard and life will be alright. Some of us have been working hard all our lives and still not brought what we desire into, or indeed out of, our lives. Or the progress of moving things in and out of our lives is so slow, that we fear we’re likely to run out of life span before we get what we desire. Maybe it isn’t so much about great effort being thrown out into the world but being more skilled in our use of energy.
What most of us lack is a support structure that ensures we stay engaged regardless of circumstances - a support structure that keeps us buoyant until we achieve our goal. In other words, it's not about the latest greatest crashing and thrashing, it's about the practice.
Copyright © Bella Enahoro Jan 2011
On the 'everyone else' side, there was always a great deal of splashing, crashing, thrashing and they would barely travel a couple of metres before they had to stop and gulp air, exhausted by their efforts. Some would even wander over to the expert lane, so poorly directed were their efforts. But on the expert side, there was barely a ripple as the swimmers seemed to glide through the water. They allowed the water to support them, they knew how to let water do its work. They knew how to work 'with' the water, rather than in spite of it. Some were so skilled they could sense an errant 'crasher and thrasher' about to cross their path and they would dive deep, avoiding collision and come up the other side of the 'crasher and thrasher' barely missing a stroke. I catch myself wondering how often I'm crashing and thrashing in my life instead of going with the flow and allowing life to keep me buoyant enough to help me glide through.
Here we are, a brand new decade in a decade old century. For those of us who have loved the last ten years, then for the next ten we keep doing, thinking and feeling as we have been. However, for those of us who want something different, and ‘same old, same old’ won’t do but crashing and thrashing has left us spent and barely closer to what we desire from life, what now?
For many of us, our foundations may be firm and supportive but for those of us who may be looking sideways at our key relationships or maybe considering leaving a job (yes, even though there's a recession) or indeed obliged to do so, or finally forced to do something about the state of our health, not to mention our finances are we ready to believe beyond our current situation?
Maybe we’ve got to the place where we realise that ignoring the situation does not work, nor does passively waiting for things to change of their own accord. And as for complaining, not only does that keep us where we are, but results in alienating everyone around us. Yes, we know what does not work – perpetual complaining, misdirected aggression, shopping, drinking and drugging to mood change and the list goes on in all the ways we have been crashing and thrashing at and in the unwanted situations in our lives. Are we ready to move on? And if so, how?
Belief is the key. Not belief in the religious sense of the word but in the sense that belief is a fact of human consciousness. I use the term belief meaning, information that we deem to be true. In other words can we ‘deem it to be true’ that we can move beyond our current situation, into the one we desire and allow our counter thoughts and uncertainties to subside?
Maybe this means giving up our beliefs about how things happen in the world. Maybe it means realising that the beliefs we have inherited from our families, schools, religious institutions, media may in fact not be true e.g work hard and life will be alright. Some of us have been working hard all our lives and still not brought what we desire into, or indeed out of, our lives. Or the progress of moving things in and out of our lives is so slow, that we fear we’re likely to run out of life span before we get what we desire. Maybe it isn’t so much about great effort being thrown out into the world but being more skilled in our use of energy.
What most of us lack is a support structure that ensures we stay engaged regardless of circumstances - a support structure that keeps us buoyant until we achieve our goal. In other words, it's not about the latest greatest crashing and thrashing, it's about the practice.
Copyright © Bella Enahoro Jan 2011
